2 Luv + B Luv'd- Personality Assessments

As an educator, I always spent at least the first two weeks of the school year getting to know my students. They took any (age appropriate) personality and learning style assessment I could find. It was really important for me to get to know each and every one of my scholars as individuals so that I could show up for them in the way that they needed and wanted.

I now work on a small team of four. As a result, we spend a lot of time getting to know how we operate both professionally and personally. As with my scholars, this has truly helped me to show up in the way that my colleagues need. I understand the "why" behind their decision making, pick up on their thinking and meaning making through their social cues, and recognize how to adjust my actions to meet their needs in the moment.

I have been on a self-developmental journey. I have been intune with the very depths of my being. I have been analyzing my perceptions, judgements, actions, reactions, feelings, and relationships. I have been paying special attention to my relationships with loved ones. I have been more cognizant of how I am showing up for others. While on this journey, I recognized that I often show up in ways that I have deemed necessary or appropriate, with little to no care about how the recipient needs me to show up. This has led to breakdowns in certain situations, and on rare occurrences, a breakdown in a relationship as a whole.

My Myers Briggs personality type is an INTJ, also known as an Architect. A key takeaway here is my desire for logic over emotion, as a result, I often come off nonchalant and do not respond in ways that my loved ones need.

My emotional intellect and capacity has been an area that I have been actively sorting through for the past seven years. Entering into a romantic partnership sparked the need to do some development in this area. While I show up emotionally much better than I did seven years ago for my partner, I am just now exploring the concept of extending those same emotions in my friendships.

"When it comes to emotional support, Architect personalities are far from being a bastion of comfort. They actively suppress their own emotions with shields of rationality and logic, and expect their friends to do the same. When emotionally charged situations do come about, Architects may literally have no clue how to handle them appropriately, a glaring contrast from their usual capacity for decisive self-direction and composure."

I am often aloof in my friendships and find myself in many surface level friendships because I cannot bring myself to delve deeper into the emotional aspects of these relationships. I tend to respond in a seemingly nonchalant fashion, though my intention is not to seem cold and uncaring. I think the biggest lesson I have learned in my adulthood is that while I am always well intended, I have still hurt people through my actions. I no longer want to hurt those that I love the most, so I am doing the self-work necessary to be who my loved ones need.

It has helped tremendously in my relationship with my little sister. She is an INFJ and the difference in my T (thinking) and her F (feeling) causes us to clash on occasion.

"Advocates (INFJ) find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact."

"INTJs do not like dealing with the emotions of others all the time. They find the process tiring, irrational and frustrating at times because emotions can be illogical."

This difference causes us to butt heads. I will say something (seemingly) innocent, and she gets emotional and says I am being a bully. She is also an Aries and I am a Leo so we are both very fierce & fiery (but that's another discussion for another time). Now that I know her personality type, I have a better understanding of how to deal with her.

I had all of my other closest friends and family taking personality assessments in an effort to get to know them better. I am committed to bettering myself and my relationships. If you want more insight about your personality type, I recommend you first take this free version of the Myers Briggs personality assessment. From there, read about your type on 16 Personalities. Another popular one is the 5 Love Languages assessment. It tells how one experiences love. My love language is gifts followed by acts of service. If my birthday rolls around, you can say all of the amazing things to me, you can give me all of the affection in the world and spend all of the time with me possible, but if I don't get a gift, I definitely feel some type of way, lol.

After taking the assessments, pop back in and let me know your results & if you find them accurate or not!

Stuntin' + Shining

@KiyBen